


You've Saved Me Again

by Fly_Kitty7000



Series: Let Yourself Love [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Developing Relationship, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, OOC, Out of Character, Relationship(s), Slash, Soul-Searching, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4747775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fly_Kitty7000/pseuds/Fly_Kitty7000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "Thank You for Saving Me," Spencer is left confused at Derek's continued attentions toward him.  He is even more confused when he discovers that his feelings for Derek have evolved into something he's never felt before.  While on a case, events come into play that force Spencer to confront those feelings and make a choice that could change his life forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Saved Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I know that this story has been a long time coming, but here it finally is! I hope it lives up to expectations! Even though it starts out like a case fic, it really isn't. As always, I write Spencer a little shorter than Derek and with a higher voice than he has in the show, but if you don't want to read him like that, feel free to read him however you'd like (it won't affect the story that much). Please leave comments and kudos and I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters therein. I just take them and do what I want with them (which is why they may read a little OOC even though I always try to keep each character's center, or what makes them the way they are, unless otherwise noted). If you don't like the story, please don't read it. All hateful comments or flames will be immediately deleted or marked as spam. I do, however, accept and welcome constructive criticism, opinions, and other comments as long as they are made in good taste. Thank you for reading and being respectful to me, as a human being, and my work in general. Please enjoy!

Spencer Reid sat in the police station conference room of a small town in Oklahoma, reviewing the evidence and geographical profile on the BAU’s current case, which involved a serial killer who seemed to enjoy filleting his victims with a butcher knife. He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, frustrated that he just couldn’t seem to put the pieces together.

 

Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan were out re-interviewing every witness and pretty much anyone and everyone who might have even remotely been connected to the case in any way while David Rossi and Emily Prentiss were looking at the bodies once more, trying to find anything they may have missed. Jennifer Jareau had been on every news station in the county and surrounding counties, holding press conferences and briefings until the public was sick of her face. Penelope Garcia had exhausted every technological path and lead that she could find and was infuriated that the unsub had escaped her expert hacking skills. In other words, the team was at a dead end and they were all stressed out of their minds, trying to understand why they couldn’t catch this guy.

 

Spencer leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, taking long, deep, soothing breaths to try to relieve the stress building up behind his eyes. He knew that there was _something_ that he was missing, but he just couldn’t place it. He was missing that one crucial piece that would make the puzzle complete.

 

He took a couple more calming, deep breaths before attempting to go over the information in his head once again. This unsub was definitely one of the worst that Spencer had ever had the displeasure of profiling. He almost couldn’t wait for the team to find this guy just so Spencer could possibly have the satisfaction of watching Derek beat the shit out of the sicko.

 

Spencer sighed… he could just imagine Derek’s strong muscles flexing and extending, stiffening and then relaxing as he did something strenuous… like beating the shit out of an unsub. A small sigh escaped Spencer’s mouth as his imagination ran away with him.

 

Before he knew it, he was thinking about things that were highly inappropriate, especially for his current circumstances. Spencer gasped and sat upright, shaking his head to try to clear the images from his brain. Where had those come from?!

 

Ever since Derek had saved Spencer from drowning a few months earlier, Derek had been extremely protective of him, almost to the point of hovering over him. Spencer understood the sentiment at first; after all, Spencer could have died and he could see where Derek might be worried about that. But he thought the emotion would fade after a week or two.

 

However, it had been almost four months since the incident and it seemed like Derek was _always_ by his side! Not that he was really complaining… it was nice to know that the people you considered friends and family cared about you in return. But, it appeared as if Spencer’s closeness to Derek was causing him to feel things about the man that he probably shouldn’t.

 

Spencer bit his bottom lip and scowled at his internal musings. He wasn’t entirely sure what these feelings meant, but he knew they couldn’t be conducive to a productive work environment. After all, right at this moment, he was _supposed_ to be thinking about the case they were on and instead he was thinking about strong, kind Derek and his gorgeous chiseled body…

 

“Ahh, stop it!” Spencer exclaimed out loud and put his hands over his ears as if that would help keep the unwanted thoughts away. ‘ _Not very unwanted if you can’t stop them, are they?’_ a snide voice in his head jeered his way. He growled at himself but didn’t argue. There was no doubt that the thoughts evoked pleasant feelings in him… but this really wasn’t the time or place to be feeling _anything_ but focused!

 

However, Spencer didn’t know if there really _was_ an appropriate time and place to feel what he was feeling. Derek was his best friend! Was it really right to be imagining him in certain places or certain… _positions_ … outside of the workplace? Or inside of the workplace for that matter…

 

And even if the emotions _were_ appropriate (which they completely and totally weren’t!), Spencer wasn’t quite sure what the next step in _pursuing_ those emotions would be. He’d never really felt the things he was now feeling before and he’d _certainly_ never been in a relationship before!

 

‘ _That’s even assuming that Derek would_ want _to be in a relationship with you,’_ he scoffed at himself. Yeah, right… thinking that a man like Derek Morgan would ever want anything to do with a kid like Spencer Reid was pure fiction. Derek had been nice to Spencer, yes, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted anything further than just friendship.

 

God, he needed to get a grip on himself! There were people dying and all he could think about was Derek! What was wrong with him?!

 

Suddenly, though, as that thought left him, another invaded his consciousness. “Oh my God,” he said aloud to himself in disbelief. “That’s it!” he shouted and then shot to his feet, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he ran to the door. He knew how to find the bastard unsub and by all things he knew and believed, he would do it… and then he would concentrate on his feelings… maybe…

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer was again in the police office conference room, this time cleaning up some of case supplies instead of analyzing them. The team had used his revelation to discover a likely suspect and was now currently raiding the possible unsub’s home with a SWAT team. Spencer had been told to stay behind since Hotch, Derek, Emily, and Rossi were already on the road and closer to the location, but that wasn’t anything unusual. JJ was still caught up with legal matters and the team needed someone at the station to make sure everything went smoothly behind the scenes.

 

At least, that’s what Spencer told himself. He refused to admit that they were probably holding him back because he was a walking, talking trouble magnet. Any time something bad _could_ happen, Spencer was usually the one it happened to, unfortunately.

 

‘ _Oh well,’_ he thought with a sigh as he sat down and put his head on the table. ‘ _At least this gives me time to think about some of the things I’ve been feeling lately…’_ Spencer wasn’t altogether sure that that was a good thing, though. These emotions were new to him and even if he came to a conclusion as to what exactly they _were_ , he still wouldn’t know what to do about them!

 

‘ _One thing at a time, Spencer,’_ he told himself as he took a couple deep, soothing breaths. ‘ _One thing at a time… Ok, let’s think about this logically.’_ Logically… yes that was the best thing to do. How did Derek make him feel _logically_?

 

‘ _Good,’_ was the first thing that popped into his head. Derek made him feel _good_. Wanted… special… important… loved. Wait, _loved_? The thought made Spencer’s head spin and his heart beat hard and fast… but he couldn’t deny the truth of it. Derek made Spencer feel _loved_!

 

Did that mean that Spencer _loved_ Derek? Was that possible? It was such a frightening thought and Spencer was struggling not to hyperventilate from the weight of it. If it was true, what would it mean? Should Spencer tell Derek what he thought he was feeling? If so, how would Derek take the information? Spencer valued Derek’s friendship and didn’t want to lose it… but if Spencer _didn’t_ tell Derek, Spencer didn’t know how long he could pretend that the feelings and emotions didn’t exist. Derek would figure it out soon enough even if Spencer said nothing. After all, he was an excellent profiler.

 

Spencer groaned and sat back in his chair. What was he going to do? His thoughts kept going round and round and he wasn’t really drawing any conclusions that would help him out of this predicament.

 

Suddenly, the sound of his phone ringing brought him out of his internal debate. He looked at the caller ID and was surprised when he saw that it was Hotch calling him. “Reid,” he answered cautiously, a knot inexplicably forming in the pit of his stomach. Then, as Hotch talked, Spencer went pale and shot up out of his seat, running toward the exit as if his life depended on it.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer sat in a slightly uncomfortable chair, his legs crossed and his hands over his face. ‘ _Why?_ ’ he thought despondently, close to tears but fighting to keep them in. ‘ _Why did this have to happen?’_

 

He lowered his hands and opened watery eyes to stare at the prone form of Derek Morgan, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a dozen different machines that were all making noises and polluting the otherwise quiet room. White bandages were wrapped around his head and his left arm was in a sling. According to Hotch, Derek had been shot in the left shoulder as he was attempting to clear a room on their raid, then hit his head on the corner of a table when he fell. Stupid Derek! How could he have been so careless? He should have been more vigilant while clearing the room! And who falls into a _table_ , anyway?!

 

Spencer groaned and leaned forward to lay his head down next to Derek’s knee. He knew that he was being unreasonable in his accusations. All raids carried some risk to all party members, he knew that… but at the same time, he couldn’t help but be angry at Derek for daring to get injured… especially just when Spencer had deduced what his feelings for Derek really were!

 

“You big dummy,” Spencer muttered, refusing to raise his head to stare at the unconscious form of the man who had stolen his heart. It was times like this when Spencer was glad that he belonged to a team that was understanding. Without even asking, they had left and given Spencer some time alone with Derek. It was like they knew that something major was happening between them… but then again, they probably did. That was the hazard of working with profilers. There were no secrets. Spencer just hoped that they hadn’t figured out _exactly_ what was happening. He didn’t even know if Derek shared his feelings or not. Hell, Spencer hadn’t even decided whether he was going to even _tell_ Derek about his feelings or not!

 

Spencer sighed and reached one of his hands up to rest it on Derek’s leg. “What am I going to do with you?” he whispered as he started to quietly sob. “Why did you have to go and get hurt? I’d finally just figured a few things out… I still have a lot of questions and I really don’t know what I’m going to do… but now you’re here… and I really just want to know if you feel the same way… because I’m really confused and scared but I don’t want to wait around until it’s too late to do anything about it! I don’t know what to do, Derek… so I need you to wake up and _tell_ me what to do! Please! I – ”

 

Spencer gasped and stopped his rambling when he felt a hand on his head, fingers running though Spencer’s long locks. Slowly and warily, Spencer raised his head to look up into the smiling face of Derek Morgan. “Derek?”

 

“Hey, pretty boy,” Derek answered in a slightly hoarse voice that was full of warmth and emotion.

 

Spencer sniffed and attempted to wipe the tears that were streaming down his face, but more just kept coming to replace the ones he got rid of. “How much did you hear?” he asked slightly fearfully, not knowing exactly how Derek would react to what Spencer had said.

 

Derek chuckled slightly but his smile remained warm. “Since you called me a dummy.”

 

Spencer bit his lower lip nervously and tried to sit back in his chair, but Derek moved his hand from Spencer’s head down to his back to keep him where he was. “Sorry,” Spencer apologized as he hung his head and blush tinted his wet cheeks.

 

“Don’t be,” Derek said softly, again moving his hand, but this time to Spencer’s face, cupping it under Spencer’s chin to lift his head back up. “You’re upset, and that’s alright. It shows me you care.”

 

“I do care, Derek,” Spencer answered earnestly, still trying to calm himself down and stop crying. “I do, but I’m scared.”

 

“What are you scared of, pretty boy?” Derek asked gently, not wanting to put words in Spencer’s mouth or influence his answers in any way.

 

“Everything!” Spencer exclaimed, suddenly finding that he had too much energy to just sit and do nothing. He sprang up from his chair and started pacing the room, not looking at anything but his own feet as he walked. “I’m afraid of the feelings I’m starting to feel for you… I’m afraid of losing your friendship… I’m afraid of what will happen if you don’t reciprocate my feelings… I’m afraid of what will happen if you _do_ reciprocate my feelings! I am completely and utterly out of my depth here and I hate it! I feel helpless and confused and I don’t know what to do, Derek! I don’t know what to do!”

 

“Hey, shh shh, come here, Spencer,” Derek interrupted and gestured to Spencer with his right hand. “Come here… its ok.”

 

Spencer sniffed and looked over at Derek with a frown on his face. He hesitated for a moment but then went back over toward the bed, intending to sit down in the chair once more. Derek, however, must have had other ideas because as soon as Spencer got close enough, Derek grabbed Spencer’s arm and pulled him down on the bed, almost on top of Derek.

 

Spencer let out a little surprised squeal at being pulled down, but recovered from the shock quick enough to move so he didn’t put any pressure on Derek’s injured shoulder. “Derek!” Spencer admonished as he tried to get up, but Derek easily held him close with just one arm. Spencer eventually gave up struggling and decided to make the most of his situation by cuddling into Derek’s side. “You should be more careful,” he said softly as he laid his head on Derek’s chest.

 

“I’m ok, Spencer,” Derek answered just as softly as he moved his arm up to brush his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “Just a little banged up.”

 

“You got shot, Derek!” Spencer exclaimed and started to struggle yet again to get up from the bed, but Derek reacted quick enough to put his arm back around Spencer and hold him down. “That’s a little more than banged up,” he mumbled with a pout as, once more, he gave up and calmed down.

 

Derek chuckled slightly but then bent down a little to place a gentle kiss on the back of Spencer’s head.

 

Spencer gasped at the action and then went totally still. Had Derek really just done that? Or was he only imagining it?

 

“Pretty boy?” Derek asked with some concern, immediately aware of Spencer’s change in demeanor. “You ok?”

 

“Do you like me?” Spencer blurted out which caused him to blush at his own brashness.

 

Derek fought to contain his laughter at Spencer’s question, certain that Spencer would take it the wrong way. “Yes I do. I like you very much, Spencer.”

 

Spencer could feel his heart speed up and practically pound through his chest at Derek’s words. He licked his lips and cleared his throat. Needing to be certain of Derek’s meaning, Spencer asked, in a wavering voice, “But… d-do you… _like_ like me?”

 

This time Derek couldn’t hold in his amusement. He burst out laughing at the childlike innocence of the question, amazed, as he always was, that the astute genius couldn’t put his own feelings and emotions into intelligent sentences.

 

Spencer flinched at Derek’s laughter and again tried to move off of the bed and away from, what he was sure was, inevitable rejection and ridicule. He could feel tears starting to sting his eyes once more, but he didn’t care. His whole world seemed to be falling down around him and he couldn’t understand _why_! When did Derek’s opinions become so important to him?!

 

He fought harder to get away, blocking out all sounds for fear that he would hear the words that would break him completely, but he quickly grew frustrated when the arm around him clenched down tighter, keeping him snug against Derek’s side. He whined when he felt a hand grip his chin and lift his head up, but froze when something soft and hot pressed against his lips.

 

Spencer blinked his eyes a few times to focus them, whereupon he realized that Derek was… Derek was _kissing_ him! Spencer’s breaths came shallow and fast as his eyes grew wide. Was he imagining this? Was this all just some hallucination? A moment later, however, Spencer decided that he didn’t care. If this _was_ all a product of his imagination, by golly he was going to enjoy it while it lasted!

 

Spencer’s eyes fluttered and he kissed Derek back with gusto. Derek made a little sound, whether of surprise or pleasure, Spencer couldn’t decide, but didn’t fight as Spencer’s tongue poked out of his mouth and licked Derek’s lips.

 

Derek opened his mouth, allowing Spencer entrance as his own tongue began battling and writhing with Spencer’s. Their lips moved in a sensual dance of love and lust that continued until they were both out of breath.

 

They broke apart and both gasped for air, the room momentarily silent except for their harsh pants and the beeps and whirls from the various machines. The Derek chuckled as he again reached his hand up to run his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “Does that answer your question, baby boy?”

 

Spencer looked at Derek and smiled. “Baby boy…” he said slowly, as if rolling the word around on his tongue to analyze it. “I think I like the sound of that.”

 

Derek moved his hand down to run it over Spencer’s upper arm in a soothing fashion. “Hmmm, I think I do too.”

 

Spencer cuddled up against Derek’s side, laying his head on Derek’s chest once more. After a moment, though, he sighed and said, “I should leave. You need some rest.”

 

Derek tightened his grip around Spencer’s waist, holding him closer still and refusing to let go. “Stay with me, baby boy. I’ll rest a lot easier if you’re with me.”

 

Spencer smiled and nodded his head. He was suddenly very tired and found that Derek was very comfortable to lay against. “I won’t leave,” he said gently and closed his eyes.

 

Derek felt Spencer’s breathing slow and grow steady and he smiled. This day had certainly been full of ups and downs! But he would take the gunshot and concussion any day if it meant that afterward, he would get to have Spencer in his arms and resting against his chest. His smile grew wider as he closed his own eyes and laid his head back onto the pillow.

 

Neither man noticed the four people standing in the doorway of the hospital room, all staring in and smiling softly at the sight before them. Then they all wordlessly looked at each other and then to Hotch, who nodded, keeping the rare smile on his face. With Hotch’s nod, they all turned and silently walked away, Hotch being last in line. He snuck one more glance at the sleeping couple and then gently shut the door behind him.


End file.
